This seems to be the next step for me. . . putting it all out there. Everyone else is doing it, right??? I'm a 29 year old mom of 2. My girl Payton is 4, and Cole is 2. I was raised in Fort Nelson B.C. (I would be surprise if you had heard of it) and we live in Fort Nelson now. I like it, it's a little far from anywhere else. . . but I like a small town, dealing with people in adult life that you once seen 15 years ago passed out on the bathroom floor of some house party makes for a great trip to the hardware store. My fiance/boyfriend/husband (I call him my husband for those who don't know us). . . whatever he is. . . my love, my strength ♥, Chance is an equipment operator. We met in high-school and have now been together for 7 years.
I feel like I need to give the run-down of my history. You know those tasty tibits. . . the events trapped in your head that you swear are the reason you are the person you are (I'm coming to realize different). The last 4 years, since my daughter was born, have been an interesting time. I don't know that I can say for sure but I believe I suffered some sort of postpartum depression, which got worse after my son was born 2 years later. It is hard for me to describe how it felt to me during that period, my brain felt like it was on speed, the anxiety got worse and worse, I found myself peeking out of curtains. . . paranoid. My difficult realtionship with money got worse during that time, I made bad decisions all the way around. However. . . all of that is behind me and without it I wouldn't be at the point I'm at now. It was a year ago, I was done, done struggleing, done feeling crazy, done lying, done hiding, done, done, done, done. Since then I have created a dramatic shift in our reality.
I am happy, I am clear. I am doing a good job at being a mom and wife (girlfriend/fiance). It seems however, that when your life takes a shift so do the people in your life. Some of my relationships have become strained, it's almost as if it just wasn't relevent anymore. I'm still struggleing with the relationship with my parents and sisters. . . I feel alien around them. . . that's a long story that I'm sure will tell itself over time.
Right now I know that the choices I make from one moment to the next are benifiting me, my family and who ever surrounds me. And right now that's all that matters to me. . . and no matter what it's all just another day in paradise. ♥♥♥
